General
What advice, guidance, or wisdom would you share with new care partners?
I am a care partner (caregiver). When my journey started, there were very few resources to tap into as a care partner. I learned a great deal as we went through my partner's treatments, both radiation and chemotherapy, simultaneously. I dived right in and reminded myself that being a care partner is all about being of service to the one we are caring for. I told myself to bottle-up my feelings and to remember that none of this experience is about me. Well, in hindsight I might have been a little bit off. So much of the wisdom we have acquired through this anal cancer experience, surgeries, and recoveries, was hard earned and through self-discovery. I would welcome any new information about websites or support frameworks that have been created to accommodate the care partner experience. The biggest pearl of wisdom I have gained is: You cannot take care of someone else if you aren't taking care of yourself!
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Hi Cpramir I think you have learnt the most important thing already in that you need to look after yourself when you are the caregiver for someone who is going through cancer treatment, also showing the person you still care for them no matter, will help them through the process but most importantly looking after yourself in the process is a key factor, for further information you can go onto the American society website, take care😊
Thank you so much for your response! :-) I actually never went to the American Cancer Society website in all this time and during the experience...funny...so obvious one would think.
We so often forget that care partners need support and resources! This is such an important conversation.
I would say being there for your loved one is awesome, However, coming to terms with, that in order for this engine to work fluidly, there has to be time for you to regroup & breathe. Unfortunately, the steps in being there may be a long haul, and being transparent and open that this is not going to be a marathon but a sprint... and that's okay.
Absolutely! I agree, it definitely was and is a marathon ad not a sprint. Even after treatment and being deemed cancer free, it still is ongoing...
Indeed it is :)
Thank you so much Nathaniel09. Yes, I hope through sharing and having one discussion I can impart some hard earned wisdom to other care partners. I will go and check-out the American Cancer Society's website for sure.
The nonprofit I volunteer for has peer-to-peer caregiver support and zoom support groups monthly, as well as a Facebook group... It has helped so many care partners I know. One can apply to a few peer-to-peer mentoring groups to find a mentor.
Also, my husband tells everyone he talks to, is to make sure to take time for themselves!! YOU need to care for yourself as you can't pour from an empty vessel. Call on friends and family to help in times of need.. People want to help but are often at a loss as to what to offer.. Taking time for you is vital in any caregiving situation from parenting to caregiving in cancer.
Thank you so much for this sage response HeatherVSJ. I would love to get more information from you on that peer-to-peer caregiver group. Your husband is dead-on! The overriding fact i learned the hard way being a care partner is that we can only give what we have for ourselves. If I do not participate in my own self-care, how can I care for another? Thank you for this amazing reply and hope that future caregivers or care partners will be able to learn from our hard earned wisdom! :-)