Fluctuation of treatment and the outsiders comments.

FightingRARE_1472

I always start a journal prompt with what’s been going through my mind during drastic changes that are noticeable. Especially when it comes to being surrounded by other people I don’t know and even close friends. I just moved back to the state where I was diagnosed. Before treatment and alternative medicine I looked like I walking skeleton. As someone that’s been in recovery for an eating disorder for 12 years, comments about how much weight I’ve been able to gain/lose in the amount of time I’ve been away from my current location have been making feel extremely uncomfortable.

I think being uncomfortable is a great for reflection and powerful tool to start giving myself more self appreciation/love that I have and am going through. There has been so much change that it is okay to be uncomfortable, and I don’t need to “fit in” and I don’t have to hold onto that energy of body shame, what others think of how my body looks like when I’m going through a period in my life where there is a lot of fluctuations, especially with weight.

My prompt today is: What are some ways I can celebrate and care for my body, even if it doesn’t conform to societal ideals?

cpramir

Going home is always a difficult action. I came from a small community, so almost everyone knew everyone else's business. A situation I have always loathed. I can relate to moving home, as I had to do it twice in my past and it was a definite challenge.

I have been in recovery from my eating disorders for 19 years. They ravaged my body inside and out. I know this word is harsh, but it has been a keystone of my recovery from my obsession with what everyone else thinks of me and everything I do, unsolicited opinions are completely irrelevant to me. I visited with a dear friend and fellow caretaker the other day. As I was getting dressed, I looked in the mirror, and felt very happy with the clothes I was wearing. I laughed and asked myself, who would you be trying to impress in the old days?

I am blessed that my friends today all love me for who I am inside and out. Self-affirmations in the mirror each morning, connecting to my higher power in my meditation each morning, and surrendering my will up to my higher power each day allows me to love my body, perform self-care activities, and to be in a state of gratitude rather than deficit. Thank you FightingRARE_1472 for this wonderful discussion and prompt.